This dog: making every other dog in the world feel like an inferior asshole.
Are you fucking shitting me
I’m laughing so hard at 0:54. GET THIS DOG A MOVIE DEAL.
This dog is making ME feel like an inferior asshole holy shit
"go pee on mommy" tho
so the other day i was eating fish sticks and two of them fused together and they looked like a cross and i showed my mom and i was like “look it’s a crucifish.” and then proceeded to shout “HAVE YOU ACCEPTED POSEIDON AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR?” “AQUA MAN IS A FALSE PROPHET!”
i have never seen someone look so disappointed in their child
why can’t mosquitos suck out my fat instead
*taps glass to get your attention* everyone… i look great
My boyfriend just said, “I’m not comparing you to a donut, but at least you’re a mini donut.” Thanks, sweetheart.
i think maybe teenagers are so unhappy because the naive expectations they developed over a carefree childhood are now being relentlessly crushed and they’re slowly realizing life isn’t going to be so easy and you can’t be an astronaut without a bunch of qualifications and they’re really sad about that and that’s why i think we should all be mean to babies more often and introduce the hunger games